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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

i needed...

i needed a place, outside of my online social network, where i could express, soley my truest truths, my experiences as being owned again, by the Master who's will, sadicsm, strength, dominance, care, heart, and dreams, align with what aches deep inside of me.
i want a place where i can express myself, outwardly, and have the priveldge to think outloud my thoughts and experiences with Him, without feeling as though i have to protect myself.

i first met my Master, in an AOL bdsm chatroom, back in the end of 2006. April 9, 2007, i had First Meeting with Him. First Meeting is Masters ritual to owning a girl. It's an account of many stories He's had, with each new girl He has acquired. for me, it was the beginning of the rest of my life. i replay my First Meeting alot sometimes in my mind. the things that i wish i could have changed, and the many more things that were just perfect.

after First Meeting, i moved out to colorado a month later. i'd been seperated from my husband for about 6 months, give or take, no kids, living with my aunts, had a good job with benefits and 401k, but i was unsafe. i've a father who just wouldnt leave me alone. in more ways than 10. SO....i packed what i could in my little $400 beater car, and drove about a quarter or more across the country, to start my life over.

during that time, i fell deepr and deeper in love with Him. with that though, came lots of work that i wasn't allowing myself to face. He has this spirit about Him, that could make a girl confess lots of her childhood, if her heart is open. but i've also learned that, talking about my past, wasnt the only thing i had to do....i had to face it, and let go of the old ways i believed, and was shown. thats the real work.

my husband ended up moving out to colorado, and we ended up getting back together. Master had another slave girl that moved to colorado a few weeks after i did, and her and i got an apartment together. so many things i wish i would have done different with that as well. when my husband and i got back together, we moved out of that apartment and got a place of our own.

i left my Master.

soon things quickly diminished AGAIN with my husband, things happened, i was going deeper into an addiction i thought was hopeless to get out of. we ended up moving back to our home state. and i've been miserable since i crossed the state lines.

as of today, i am HAPPILY, contently, peacefully, back with my Master. after many exchanged and putting my hands in a constant fire, i realized that my calling, my heart gut and cunt, are just simply alligned with my Master.

my Master says that the only reason two people should be together, is if their path is the same. His belief in that, didn't solidify my reason for believing it as well, rather, i see the evidence of His beliefs. all of His girls, including me, at one point or another, say we tell Him what He wants to here. we are all guilty of it. including this lying cunt writing this....but His beliefs and His ways of life.....always have evidence. and He is the biggest example of them all.

our relationship as of right now, is online. in some ways, its easier to maintain it on here, but only because its AFTER i have been with Him. i know His smell. i know His look. i know His touch. i know His cock. i know His whips and hands. i know His punishments. i know His truths.

it amazes me that when my heart is open, and i am receptive and open, internet means nothing. distance means nothing. He still has His ways of breaking me. keeping me. and owning me.

more to come.